Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Dreams into Plans

We have a home.  Today we picked up the keys to the house we’re renting, and for the first time in almost four years I will be back to living with my family of four in our own space.  A different family, a healthy family just starting out on our journey.  Perfect in imperfection, supporting each other as we all grow, change, and become fuller, better people along the way.

There are things that will be different.  Having a place with Scott will be new, we have been living together this year, but it’s not really the same when you’re in limbo and staying in a bedroom in someone else’s house.  It will probably take us most of the month to move all of our things, and living with my Mom gives us the luxury of taking our time.  We will meld our things, our preferences, our opinions, and create a place that is ours.  I am excited and anxious, but before I start to think about it too much I have somewhere else for my brain to be this weekend.

I have reservations tomorrow on the 1:15 ferry to Orcas Island, and will spend the next four days immersed in passion.  I’m taking my camera and leaving my computer at home, and one of my goals for this weekend is to try and set some thoughtful goals and intentions for my writing.  For years, I have been saying “I need to write more.”  It’s time, it’s past time, to commit to it and make it happen.

I am looking forward to everything I am going to learn, and the people I’m going to meet.  This feels like one of those summer-camp type situations where proximity and creative energy contribute to reaching an intimacy with people that normally takes longer to build.  If you’ve ever been to a retreat for anything you love, you know that there is a certain indescribable energy to being in a confined space with people whose souls are passionate about the same things yours is.

I want to write about so many things.  Self-love, body positivity, what it’s like to live as a fat woman in America, self-care, embracing passion and integrating it into your life, overcoming abuse, living a positive life and knowing what you can control and what you can’t, love, polyamory, emotional freedom, embracing humanity, sex positive living/parenting, authenticity…  That last one is something I’m thinking about a lot as there are a few other things I’d like to write about that I haven’t shared with the world at large and I’m thinking about how to embrace writing and life in the most authentic and beautiful way.

I’m saying it out loud.  My goal for this weekend is to make a solid, realistic plan for embracing writing and fanning the flames of my passion and wordsmithing, and making real progress towards my goals.  I want to share my story.  I want to touch people’s hearts and show them that they aren’t alone in this world.  I want to nurture this part of me that I haven’t paid enough attention to.

See you on the flip side.

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