Friday, September 22, 2017

Embracing Inspiration

Perhaps it's something about the season, or a sort of subtle settling in after the frenzy of the end of summer.  I'm assimilating nicely at my new job, the kids are getting into the groove of things at school, and the weather is cooling down into that familiar rainy chill I love so much about the Pacific Northwest.  I'm feeling more myself, more aware of who I am, and thinking about my goals and passions and dreams. 

The last few days I have been feeling raw and open.  I don't think of myself completely as an Empath, but there are elements of it that I strongly identify with.  I have always been a feeler, my heart in my eyes and on my sleeve, and pouring from my mouth like a deluge I can't stop.  I tell people I am a crier.  Movies, TV, books, friends sharing good or bad news, and news stories make me tear up on the regular.  If I get in the same room with someone who is crying?  Forget about it, it's over for me.  But it's more than that.  In the past few years, I've nurtured and embraced my nature more than ever before.  It allows for a level of profundity that wasn't possible in the past.  There is something amazing that comes from letting yourself bloom wildly instead of trying to fit into a mold.

This week, Scott and I found a rental for our family.  The housing market is insane in Bellingham, and not in a good way.  It's difficult to find anything with the number of bedrooms we need, that allows cats, that we can actually afford without panicking about the bank balance every month.  So, when a house I've been eyeing suddenly decided cats were okay after all, we jumped on it.  Less than 6 hours later, our application had been accepted and we had found our next home.  It's not a forever-home, but it's a small, lovely house for us to grow in as a little family for the next few years.  Added bonuses: the kids get to stay at the same schools, it's a 3-4 minute walk from my Mom's, and it's through a property management company who I have worked with before and had good experiences.  It was a whirlwind, but it seems like that's just the way things go for me.

Working on my Thankfulness project has pried open a part of my heart that was a little rusty.  I have been feeling so much love for the people I have surrounded myself with, and it feels big and overwhelming, but in such a good way.  I've also had friends going through difficult transitions and my heart has ached for them.  I experienced my first real disappointment in middle-school-schoolwork-assignment-management land (which is really a whole other post). 

And I've written.  This project means using my words and exercising my brain in a way that I've been severely neglecting.  I miss writing.  I miss posting here, and I miss the electricity that flows over my skin when the words start to flow from my mind.  It's a physical sensation when I get into my groove, and I haven't been nurturing it.  It energizes me and makes me feel the possibilities around me. 

I've been thinking a lot about passion.  I feel inspired on a daily basis.  I have somehow managed to surround myself with a whole lot of people who do amazing things, and who make me believe that maybe I can do them too.  It's like a beautiful sign that I need to pursue the things that inspire me a lot more than I've been doing.

In two weeks, I will be on Orcas Island attending Write Doe Bay.  One of my very favorite authors, Isaac Marion, is presenting there, and one of the other authors is presenting about honor & integrity in memoir, which is so relevant that I can't even handle it.  I have written some fiction, but personal narrative and memoir is where my heart is, and I think that it's probably going to stay that way.  I want to use the experiences I've been through to empower people and let them know they aren't alone.

I'm beyond excited about this opportunity.  It's not something that I ever would have done for myself in the past, not something I would have put out into the universe.  But I did, and now I'm going.  It's at a beautiful resort on Orcas Island.  I'm going to take my hands and my mind and my camera and I'm going to absorb every. Single. Moment.

And then?  I'm going to write.  I'm going to set goals.  I'm going to be here a lot more often.  I'm going to embrace inspiration and passion, and see where it takes me.  I can't wait. 

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